His Library
by LightBard
Summary: When Amy feels The Doctor is pushing her away, who best to turn to than the woman who knows him best? Can River convince him that he's not dealing with things properly? And how will he respond when she presents him with a gift?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me, neither do the characters, as they belong well and truly in the hands of the BBC and Steven Moffat. But I figure they won't miss them this once.

**Chapter One**

"I just don't get it, he's been pushing us away for weeks now. It's almost like he doesn't want us in his adventures anymore. He always sends us in the wrong direction, away from danger whereas before he used to pull us along." Amy was exasperated. She hadn't confessed her feelings to anyone not Rory, not The Doctor, not even herself. But despite knowing who she was, Amy felt herself able to talk freely with River Song.

"You have to understand Amy, he's seen so many people around him die. It's only natural that he's trying to keep you at arms length from danger. Admittedly he has a terrible way of dealing with it."

Amy and River were sat under the console of the TARDIS usually The Doctors favourite hidey hole, but he'd long retired in a bit of a huff and Rory was trying to cook in one of the kitchens. River had noticed her mother's despondency and asked the outright question.

"But we've done so much together; I mean for God's sake we caused the second Big Bang, I don't understand why he's being like this now." They were sat in the hammocks usually reserved for tinkering with wires but made amazingly good seats. Each were cradling a glass of wine. Admittedly not their first, but River knew she couldn't good wine in the Stormcage facility and her TARDIS always provided, so she figured _why waste good wine?_

"You have to understand Amy, knowing who you are now, it's changed things. You're a mother and to him that makes you more delicate. He no doubt, in that crazy little brain of his, thinks he's helping. He'll come around." River Song smiled at her mother knowingly. Of course she always knew what happened, time between her and The Doctor moved parallel, although often in the wrong direction which meant her knowledge of events led to her having an advantage in most situations, however this often caused conflict between her and her favourite man.

"I hope you're right because at the minute it feels like he's pushing us away." Amy stared into her glass of wine. "You know this is our third glass of wine and Rory still hasn't finished cooking!"

_No wonder I'm feeling tipsy. _River thought. "You know what?" She jumped gracefully from the hammock, suddenly renewed with vigour. "I'll go talk to him. I'm sure I can get him to stop being so... him. You had probably better deal with Rory because I have an inkling he has no idea what he's doing." Amy smiled, jumped down beside her daughter and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah you're probably right. I'm not really all that hungry now anyway. But listen, River," she started as the blonde began to make for the stairs "Don't make him think we don't want to be here... you know he gets when we question him. He'll get angry and emotional and... yeah well. You know him best so, just make sure he doesn't overreact ok?" Her eyes were pleading. The time her and Rory had spent with the doctor were the best she'd ever experienced and he had given them so much, she had no intention of letting him push them away.

"I'll try my best Amy. You mind if I take this? It truly is my favourite." Amy nodded collecting up her shoes and River turned away smiling, picked up the bottle of wine and headed towards the one place she could guarantee he would be, if he was truly in a mood.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"You really should stop pouting. It's very unbecoming on you. Especially when I know that pout is just for my benefit. And I have to tell you... it never works." The words slithered out in her confidant seductive tone. She stood in the doorway to the room only she and he knew. He was sat in one of the old leather armchairs next to the fireplace which was roaring in accordance with his mood. He didn't look up.

"It's not fair that you should know where I go to be alone. And if you're here I'm not alone." He pulled his legs underneath him, almost like a child. She sighed, shut the door behind her, which, being part of the TARDIS vanished in appearance from outside and walked over to the opposite chair. She poured another glass of wine and sat down.

"Sweetie. It's not like you to mope. Not when I'm around anyway." She tucked her own feet underneath herself, mirroring his pose in the hopes that it would relax him. She had hoped the slight flirting would bring him around.

"It's just..." he flung his hands around, as he always did. She smiled, knowing that he was opening up to her. Trusting her more and more; Becoming the man she loved more than her own life. "It's just so silly. You humans, always getting into trouble. I'll never get bored saving you, so fragile and breakable..." He was in a dark mood. She took a sip of wine before bending down and placing it on the floor. She took herself out of the chair and sat at the foot of his, her feet tucked beneath herm, she laid her hands gently on his knees. He tried to hide his surprise, having instantly moved backwards a fraction from the contact he relaxed a little, still avoiding eye contact.

"You are pushing her away." She sought his eyes, needed him to know what she was saying was true. "Whether you realise it or not. I know what you are feeling. This unspoken guilt about losing Melody, but..." she couldn't believe she was saying this for a second time "Doesn't my presence here tell you anything?" She leaned backwards, unaware his eyes were following her movements to the glass of wine she had set down. As she sat back up and took another mouthful she caught him smiling, finally he'd let down his guard a little, "I know you want to find her, and I know you are frustrated that I can't tell you where she is. But the rules Doctor. They are there for a reason. Trust me, I feel the same guilt as you, but trying to keep Amy and Rory away from... well anything, is not helping. You have to understand that." He sighed again. "You will find her, and we will run. Together. And anyway," She took some more wine before putting it down on the fireplace. "Look how well she turns out." She smiled flirtatiously raising an eyebrow, finally catching his eye and seeing that sparkle. The sparkle which showed how much he loved and wanted her, despite himself. She knew that right now it was only a sapling compared to what it became, but just knowing that it had started filled her with joy. "Now that you're out of your state, come on." She stood, presenting her hand to get him up. He ignored it and jumped up beside her, in one swift and typically, ungraceful motion.

"Where are we going?" He peered around as if he expected some sort of neon sign to point out the direction she intended. River smiled knowingly, seductively. She grabbed his hand as he had refused to take it on his own.

"I'm going to show you my favourite part of this library of yours."


	3. Chapter 3

He had never entered this part of the library, he wasn't even aware of its existence. This was due to it never being there before. The TARDIS had created it the second River entered the library, _she_ knew they would need it. It was simply enveloping. The walls he knew were covered with books from all periods, this was covered not only with books, but with paintings and display cases with jewellery and artefacts; and scrolls and multimedia. An old fashioned guy like the Doctor had never given into multimedia and films and the such, but he was loving the new section of his favourite room. She smiled as he took it all, moving quickly, arms flaring whenever he discovered something new.

"River, River come and look at this." She heard him call from around a corner. She loved his naivety, his innocence and most of all, his propensity to be astonished by so many things. She tried to keep up but his excitement drove him further around his newly discovered library. His hands hovered over every surface. He never lost this wide eyed brilliance. Thankfully. She loved him for it.

"Ah," she said, walking slowly around the corner and catching a glimpse of the object holding his attention "that I discovered whilst working in the caves on the planet Pretruvia." It had once been a stone, carved into a sphere intricately, but to look at it you would never believe that it had been touched by anything of this universe. It shone like moonstone but was as smooth as glass, the filigree worked patterns engraved on it were exquisite. He was removing it from its display case and turning to the table which was in front of yet another fireplace. He handled it gently, his long fingers holding it like a child. Walking slowly he never took his eyes off it, placing it down carefully as if at any moment it might explode. He was unable to take his eyes off it. She walked to his side, unable to contain her smile. "Do you like it?" She asked.

"It's breathtaking River. In all my years, I've never seen anything so perfect." His words were slurring slightly, in the way they did when he became emotional. She laughed gently.

"It's a love stone. The Petruvian people made them for their beloved. They spent years crafting them, until they were ready to be presented to the person they loved. Only if they were perfect and formed to their loved ones liking were they accepted and courtship began." She leaned forwards, their heads merely centimetres apart. "Do you like it?" She turned to him, he still bent over admiring the craftsmanship.

"It's simply astonishing. Do you know anything about the person that made this one?" He turned to look up at her. "It must be centuries old."

She turned away, walking towards another of the leather seats which seemed to be sprinkled, rather carefully around fireplaces in this room. "Well, it did take a while to make, and I've been told I'm good with my hands. Oops. Spoilers." She turned, raised an eyebrow once his gaze caught hers and put a finger over her lips in a coquettish fashion.

He stood up abruptly, turned and strode over to the seat where she now found herself. He bent over and put his face within a centimetre of hers, looking all over it as if analysing it. His eyes were puzzled. _He's trying to see if I'm lying._ He looked back at the sphere and then at her, speechless for once. He raised a finger towards her face which was now grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat, pointed back at the sphere and then back at her face. He stood back and walked back to the table, moving around it slowly, seeing it from all directions. "You...?" He seemed unable to finish the question. She laughed.

"Yes... me." She answered, the laughter moving her body gently. The wine's headiness was making her confident. "You've still not told me whether you like it sweetie." Although his reaction to it gave her the answer, she wanted to hear him say it.

I... well, I mean..." He stumbled over his words as he stared at it. Suddenly without warning he strode over to her. She stood from her chair, a little startled at his speed and grace. He was so close to her now. She could feel his breathe on her neck. His eyes bore into her, like _her_ Doctor did, that sparkle in his eyes has become a fire. If only he knew this was where they had first made love, he might not be so reticent. "River."


	4. Chapter 4

"River, it's simply ridiculous to think that you would be able to make something like that. And it's not nice to lie." He cocked an eyebrow, his eyes dark with flame.

"You still don't trust me do you?" She leaned back away from him so that she could read his reaction. "You assume that your 'bad-girl-River' couldn't actually make something beautiful? That I would actually steal something and pretend it's mine? Charming." She stood up, walked around him, brushing his arm as she did so. He stayed in the same position, bent over as if she had never moved. "You know it is possible that you are wrong about me. You call me Mrs Robinson like I'm the one always doing the chasing, but you love it, you enjoy the challenge. And yes, I might be an archaeologist but I didn't steal that." She turned away from him, more than a little hurt.

He stood up, a small smile on his face. "Prove it. Go on River. You say I'm wrong about you, that I'm going about this the wrong way. Prove it. Prove that you're trustworthy." She stood against the railings across from the table where the sphere sat. She held such fond memories of this room, where they first made love when she was the youngster and he knew oh, so much about her.

She'd dreamed of that first time in all the years since, the confident hands around her waist, the way her breathe hitched the first time his breath smoothed over the soft skin on her stomach, she remembered the way his hands were always finding themselves in her hair, the worship that he'd bestowed upon her that night. The feeling that she'd finally found her piece of the puzzle, the only thing that made her feel complete. Of course now, she understood the marked sadness he must have felt that night, knowing that despite it being her first time, it was to be his last.

She almost wished they could switch places, that she could be the one experiencing it all for the first time again, and again, and again. But she couldn't contend with the thought of him feeing this pain again.

"God you're annoying." She huffed, his smile turned into a smirk as he recalled the last time she said something similar.

As if on cue, the lights in the room went out. She heard his breath deepen, "River, what's going on?" He was panicking, assuming that the TARDIS had powered off, she could hear him flailing around trying to get a purchase on something solid due to his unfamiliarity with his surroundings. She smiled, so bumbling.

"Doctor. Stop panicking, if you stand still for a few second, you'll understand why she turned the lights off."

**Authors notes**: Whilst I am more than aware that any fan would agree that River has proven time and time again her trustworthiness and love for the Doctor she, at this point isn't aware that she's died for him (numerous times), nor that she confessed her greatest knowledge, his true name. I am however hoping to cover all of this when I write this story from The Doctors perspective.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors notes: although I'm not necessarily a huge fan of 'Songfic', I have to admit I have to dedicate the inspiration for most of this story, by the Hurts album Happiness. Or at least it kept me thinking about this particular pairing. For this chapter the songs, Devotion and Sunday, something about the lyrics of these two songs and general feel of the album which always makes me think of this particular pairing.

May be worth a listen?

Also I couldn't helped but be moved by the photograph recently awarded "highly commended" in the Deep Space section of the Astronomy Photography 2011, 'Fighting Dragons of Ara' by Michael Sidonio and 'Orion from Head to Toes' (.com/photos/deepskycolors/5932648009/in/photostream) by Rogelio Andreo, which are the only images reminiscent of my imaginings of the sphere's display.

She'd seen a similar effect by stardust and light, however this was not truly comparable, it was however the only thing that remotely resembled the splashes and waves of light now being cast over the ceiling, walls and cases within his library. Every nearby surface was suffused with the light emanating from the sphere. It was a hundred hues of colour. Colours never seen on Earth or a million other planets. She could see he was transfixed. Everything the light touched became more beautiful somehow, each book and sedentary surface seemed more radiant as the colours moved like oil on water.

She had waited more years than she dared to remember, for just this moment. The moment he understood exactly how she felt. How she had waited and waited for the days she saw him, how the emotions she felt became stronger the longer he was away and fired up within her when she saw him again. She reflected that the sphere had been a diary for her as much as the little blue book. A diary of her emotions rather than their meetings and adventures.

She looked over at him, his eyes wide with astonishment, his mouth open slightly as he gazed over every surface. That childlike wonder that she loved so much about him, was etched all over his face.

"Oh River." He sighed. She smiled at the tone of his voice and the way he said her name. Sometimes he conveyed so much in the way he spoke; Anger, hurt, betrayal, fear. But not this time.

"So you like it then?" She smiled into the words, tilting her head a little to afford a better view of his face.

"Oh River," He turned around and around, unable to stop watching the colours shift and charge, move and dance over, within and around each other.

"You've said that already." She moved gently towards him. As she stood beside him she whispered, "The stone is psychic, of sorts." His head fell gently until their eyes met. "It absorbs the emotions of the person who works the stone, and it re-expresses those feelings in," she pulled her lips taught and gestured with her hands to the light surrounding them "light." He swallowed nervously, her face lit up, she had stunned him. Finally after all these years he was left speechless. The Doctor, with nothing to say. His eyes continued their journey around the library, at the colours that swirled around. She moved to his side, to follow the path of his gaze.

She felt his arm gently wrap around her waist, his hand snaking across her back until it reached the side furthest away from him, and softly pulled her in to him.

When he finally spoke it was quietly, "I don't have the words River." She leaned her head sideways until it rested on his shoulder. Her eyes rested on the orb she had so painstakingly impressed. Only she knew the carvings were culminations of his initials, their initials; Tiny engravings in a million languages, fonts, texts and hieroglyphs; each one repeating the same the same three initials; R. S. and D.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Short one this, just to set you up and keep you ticking over. More coming very, very shortly. I promise. *wink*

**Chapter Six**

He moved so he was facing her, "I've been known by many names..." He began, and although she was desperate to bite with a witty retort, she understood that he needed this, "and in many ways, I'm pretty sure I've lived up to every one of them. But..." she could see he wasn't sure how to continue. She wasn't sure what he was trying to say. She put a hand to his chest.

"What is it my love?" She searched for his eyes but his head hung low. "Doctor, I know what they call you. Each corner of the Universe has a different name for you, and I've been to them all to search you out." The light continued to move and suffuse onto their skin. He was nervous, she could see that. She was terrified, and devastated in equal amounts. "You'll always be _My_ Doctor to me. And that's all that matters." She smiled warmly at him and he finally sought her out, looking into his eyes her heart broke. Their time was almost at an end for her.

"You scare me River. I have all these.. feelings when I'm with you, all these reactions I can't control. Human... things. John Smith feels an appropriate name when you're around." Her other hand joined the first at his chest. Resting against his shirt, she played gently with his bowtie, she loved the closeness.

"Well," she cocked an eyebrow playfully "I've shown you mine," she smiled glancing at the lights and giving him a moment to absorb the feelings emanating from the sphere, "So what do you feel now?" She found the growl of desire in her voice dripping out of her mouth, which she'd tried to suppress.

The shock of being manoeuvred back into the railings took her breath away. No where to move to and his hands gently resting on her hips, she planted her hands on the railings behind her for support. His face hovered fractions above hers and she found her breathe catch in her throat. She felt the weight of his chest against hers, could see the burning his eyes again, that fire that raged only for her. "I'd run to the ends of the universe and time for you River."

"And we will my love."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"I'd run to the ends of the universe and time for you River."

"And we will my love."

**...**

She saw his eyes darken, and as though time had stopped she found his lips against hers, the gentle warmth rushing from him as her lips parted and his long hands, unusually purposeful found themselves running up her waist from her hips. She moaned at the touch, which seemed to spur him on. She found her hands pushing off his braces as the kiss deepened, his hands acting maddeningly slowly. She grew breathless and frustrated, pulling back ever so slightly. His eyes were still closed and he frowned at the loss of contact. She quickly pulled at his bow tie, relieving him of it in one fluid movement, and flinging it behind her onto the lower level. His mouth spread into a very naughty smile, his eyes fluttered open, his hips gently tipped forwards into her as he moved closer, "I think you've had some practice at that." She could hear the smile in his voice, as he responded to her breathing becoming quicker and she couldn't stop the hitch at the contact from his pelvis and his breath in such close proximity to her ear. She managed "You'd better believe it sweetie." She moaned a low guttural noise, louder this time as his soft mouth found her neck and that spot just behind her ear, his breath flickering at her ear sending sparks of fire down through her core.

Her fingers began to move on their own, unbuttoning his shirt whilst her hips seemed to rock gently of their own volition, the fire reaching out for contact. Licking her lips seductively she felt his hands smooth their way into her hair, his attention lavished on her neck and clavicle.

She smiled shyly, whilst she had been able to seduce so many men with what she considered her most ample assets, she knew the Doctor found her hair the most distracting thing about her. She could almost hear him thinking, the quiet intensity he was bestowing on her neck and the soft way he ran his fingers through her hair meant that he was gesticulating.

She wanted it to be all about them, the 'them' here and now.

"You're thinking far too much my darling." She breathed out. She smiled sadly as he pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Do you remember Berlin?" he asked gently. Frowning sadly she replied "Of course. I killed you. And not for the first time. Where is this coming from?" She sighed.

"Do you remember what I whispered to you, just before you gave me your regenerations?" She smiled and glanced at the floor, unable to look at him directly.

"Of course I remember. Although as I recall I didn't know that you were referring to me." She felt long slender fingers caress her chin lifting her gaze into his eyes. Eyes so old yet filed with such love and joy. "But I so wanted it to be me." She said the words honestly for the first time. She knew that his simple revelation had created River Song that day, because she so longed for it to be her, to be the woman he'd spoken about.

"I meant every word of it. As much then as I do now River."

Her eyes darkened and became heavy, "Then show me."


	8. Chapter 8

Introduction: OK ladies and gentleman, not to be cruel but I did envisage this as a two part story, from both Rivers' and the Doctors point of view. And considering the end of the last chapter it seemed a perfect place to introduce the Doctor's musings and ramblings.

Don't hate the author. I'll try and move this along as appropriately (read: quickly) as possible

**Chapter 8**

'Why did she keep walking into danger? Maybe it would have been better if they'd never come along. Little Amelia Pond should have remained _the girl who waited_. And kept _The Centurion_ with her.' He thought darkly. His mood hadn't brightened any since there last adventure. He was getting tired of keeping them both out of harm. He still enjoyed their company, he reflected, but the whole situation at Demon's Run and then in Berlin and... Oh! The whole situation was making his head hurt.

He found the library to be his perfect sanctuary, the TARDIS had it installed years ago and reformed it more recently, to store his possessions but he discovered that he collected very little else other than books... 'And guilt'.

"Stop it." He shouted at nothing but the room. The fires were roaring as he knew they would be, his old girl knew his moods. Although not a drinker, she'd left a cabinet unlocked for him with the door open. He strode over to the unit, the oak veneer polished to a beautiful shine and considered the card game which had won him the decanter of Brandy taking centre stage on the shelf. Napoleon was terrible at cards but couldn't resist a bet.

A tumbler lay next to the bottle and despite himself he poured a small portion and caressed the tumbler to his chest. He brought the glass to his nose, taking in the aroma, subtle and complex with hints of honey. He lifted the glass to his lips as he strode towards his favourite armchair beside the fireplace. He remained standing basking in the warmth of the flames for a moment. The drink was strong, demanded attention and moulded itself around his mouth, heady yet subtle he found it difficult not to cough at its strength, but the sweetness and warmth which swelled through him as he swallowed was surprising.

"River." He spoke her name gently. He found it difficult not to think of her, the drink in his hand so reminded him of her. Amy's daughter. Rory's daughter. Taken from them both before she'd barely taken her first breathe. Running through time. All because of him. He tried to count the number of times he's had to watch her die in his place, or in his name.

The glass smashed against the back of the fireplace, the brandy catching and causing the flames to burst. It wasn't enough that he'd caused her so much pain, but the fact that she clearly still loved him despite it... it was almost more than he could bear. His hands gripped the mantel piece. How could he put the people he loved through this? He had been trying everything to force them away without actually telling them to go. His selfishness always prevailed. He didn't want to be alone.

He looked at his hand, at the small slivers of glass surrounding the fire, "I'd always intended on a rematch!" He mused.

He crawled into his leather armchair, heaved a sigh and tried to think of something else as he felt a gentle breeze against his cheek.

"You really should stop pouting..."


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Notes: OK so I appreciate some of you were a little distraught having stopped where I did, however it was entirely purposeful, I wanted a rollercoaster through this story and hopefully that's working.

To everyone leaving feedback thank you so, so much it is like a drug to a writer and I'm glad so many of you are enjoying it. I hope I'm not writing too out of character. Characterisation may certainly take a nose dive in the following chapters. I'd quickly like to say thank you to virgin_in_a_brothel who's motivation and ideas have kept me writing this story.

**Chapter Two**

"... It never works." He heard the words hang in the doorway. _Damn her. And the way she's so confident about everything. It's so damn annoying. This is my hideaway, how _like_ her to take it away from me. I'm allowed to be depressed if I wish. And why would the old girl let her in anyway? _

"It's not fair that you should know where I go to be alone. And if you're here, I'm not alone." _My library, not yours. _He tucked his feet under him protectively. He felt the gentle draft as the door shut behind her, he knew it would vanish from the outside. The fire stirred as the gentle smell of River flowed over both him and it. He stared intently at it as if it were likely to burn out were he not looking at it. It didn't last long though; so as to not give the game away, he kept his head facing the fire , but he strained his eyes in her direction, saw her pouring a glass of wine he assumed she brought both the bottle and glass with her. When she seated herself in the other chair he snapped his eyes back to the fire.

"Sweetie." As much as he hated to admit it, he loved that word. "It's not like you to mope. Not when I'm around anyway." _You're not around nearly enough though River and when you're not here I'm left with the guilt. _He couldn't mistake the typical flirtatious edge to her voice though and while it brought him out of his need for solitude, it didn't lighten his mood any. "It's just, so silly. You humans, always getting trouble. I'll never get bored of saving you, so fragile and breakable..." He tried not to make his outburst so pointed. He'd already witnessed so many of those around him die and the memories of The Library he tried so hard to suppress made his eyes sting. Maybe that was why he found such solace in his own library.

He watched her face soften before she stood up from the chair, move to the foot of his and sit on the floor, tucking her long legs beneath herself, before pushing one of the curls of hair from her face and gently rubbing it behind an ear. He felt a sharp rise in his heart rates as she lay her hands gently on his knees, he startled at the contact and after initially recoiling tried to settle his pulse and physical reaction, but found himself unable to look her in the eye. She didn't seem fazed be his reaction however. "You are pushing her away." She said with no ounce of sympathy in her voice, it was a fact and they both knew it. He was not-so-sub-consciously trying to do just that. He couldn't stand the guilt of their presence. No one said anything. It had never been discussed. But he had been the cause of them losing...

"Whether you realise it or not. I know what you are feeling. The unspoken guilt of losing Melody, but..." she continued. _How does she always know what I'm thinking?_ "Doesn't my presence here tell you anything?"

He finally looked at her, she was reaching for her glass again which had been set by the edge of the fire, he couldn't help but smile. When the guilt subsided a little he couldn't help but feel his heart lighten when he thought of River Song and although he tried not to admit it to himself, the fire within when she was close to him. She managed in many ways to soothe his terribly flightly soul. His lowered his gaze back to the fire as he allowed himself to acknowledge this.

"I know you want to find her, and I know you are frustrated that I can't tell you where she is. But the rules Doctor. They are there for a reason. Trust me, I feel the same guilt as you, but trying to keep Amy and Rory away from... well anything, is not helping. You have to understand that." Of course he knew it wasn't helping them, but it was helping him. How could he ever live with himself if he lost one of them too? "You will find her, and we will run. Together. And anyway..."

_Dear God! _The thought of running with River terrified and burned him at the same time.

"Look how well she turns out." He caught his favourite coquettish glance from her, an eyebrow raised. _That woman can turn me inside out with only a glance. _He felt unravelled. She was right, he may have lost her, but she had found him in so many ways. He felt himself starting to drown, in that moment not in guilt or self-loathing but in hope and found a little faith in there that whatever happened, he would find her, in one way or another. He heard an intake of breathe, "Now that you're out of your state, come on." She held pout her hand, he didn't dare grasp it for fear he would never let go and so jumped up beside her, _smooth and cool, as always_ he smiled to himself.

"Where are we going?" _An adventure!_ He hoped, looking around in case he had missed something, when he felt a warm and soft hand take his own. He tried in vain to hide a very deep swallow, his whole arm felt like electricity was coursing it's way through him and he suddenly found it difficult to concentrate on anything other than standing up.

"I'm going to show you my favourite part of this library of yours."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

The thought that his library would shift and change had never occurred to him, but his delightful darling girl clearly knew what she was doing. He couldn't believe his eyes, it was... different. Certainly bigger, but to such a degree that he barely recognised it. _It has two floors! _He rushed to look over from one floor to the one below, not too high and a lovely balcony style overlook, he leaned as far as he could. He turned back to the shelves, angled in different positions to create as much space as possible, the floor was interspersed with cabinets showing artefacts from all periods of history and screens poised in bookcases with banks of multimedia files to choose from. He wondered when he'd found all of these, or if River had found any. His hands could barely stop moving, flailing around in their usual energetic fashion. Chairs were sprinkled around fireplaces much as in his old library, but now he had so much to see he couldn't even conceive of sitting down!

He glanced in one direction and saw a statue from pre-Roman times and in another the book of Sontaran War Dynamics. It would take an eternity to appreciate all of the artefacts in this room. Suddenly he saw something which he couldn't simply glance over. A glass cabinet stood, approximately waist height. The cabinet was positioned between an avenue of two bookcases, however they were empty. It was like everything had conspired to direct him towards it, to stop him from being distracted by anything except the object in the cabinet, not that anything could have possibly strayed his attention from anything except the object in question. "River, River come and look at this." He walked gently towards it, and lifted the top off the case. He couldn't understand why he was so drawn to holding it but nothing at that moment seemed quite as important as having the sphere before him in his hands.

He delicately lifted the lid from the case.

He could hear Rivers voice rolling over him but he couldn't hear the words despite his mind being devoid of expressions to appreciate the beauty of it. He wasn't sure how long he held and caressed it but he felt the need to put it down, for fear of breaking it. he did so as one might a child, carefully and tenderly.

His attention was gently brought back to the room by the sensation of movement and River's presence by his side. "Do you like it?" She asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

"It's breathtaking River. In all my years, I've never seen anything so perfect." _It reminds me of you_, he thought to himself.

She explained its story to him, although it felt like so much more to him, he couldn't explain it. Somehow the knowledge of its origins felt disjointed with how he felt about it, he seemed connected to it beyond her explanation.

"... Do you know anything about the person that made this one?" _I wonder if I met them, that would explain it._ He looked at River awaiting her response. He found it difficult not to appreciate the beauty of her eyes, how they accentuated her mood so often. From a mysterious grey, to tempestuous blue and even now to a beautiful green. "It must be centuries old." He mustered trying not to let his thoughts run away with him too much.

She turned from him and walked towards one of the leather seats close to a fireplace. He watched her walk away, instantly missing her proximity, finding himself drawn to the halo of curls which surrounded her, the light from the fire making it look like flames, flames he was quite happy to burn beneath.

She seated herself provocatively on the edge of the seat, crossing her legs which accentuated her calves, "Well, it did take me a while to make, and I've been told I'm very good with my hands. Oops. Spoilers." His head swam. He caught the glance and look on her face. He found it difficult to hold back as he walked over to her and tried to will the truth from her face. He was losing himself in her eyes when he heard the word slip out of his mouth.

"You..?" He instantly felt a pang of jealousy, she had made this sphere, and it was astounding. He felt the acid rise in his throat which prevented him from saying anything more.

"Yes.. me. You've still not told me whether you like it sweetie." Suddenly it all fell in to place, his stomach felt heavy, his words were jumbling in his mind.

"I well, I mean..." he started. But no teenager could feel the desire that burned him, made him tingle and a surge of something akin to electricity surge through his core. In that moment just the sound of her purring voice would have sent him over the edge and unable to take back the things he would do. He leaned in, could smell the delicate notes from her skin, and he knew it would be evident in his eyes. "River."


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Notes: **Sorry this has taken a while, I hope some of you are still with me.

**Chapter Four**

As he thought on it, he realised it was entirely possible that River had formed this beautiful item in front of him, he didn't know how old she was, it wouldn't be gentlemanly to ask and despite having used her regenerations, he knew that she could potentially be centuries old at this point.

The feelings swelling in him however were so powerful he had to be absolutely sure that they were being caused by her own emotions, and with this woman the best way he knew was confrontation. He stormed over to where she stood, attempting to read the emotions and truth in her eyes. His most aggressive stance, he kept his hands by his side, torso slightly leant forward, attempting to tower over her. He felt like a cat making itself look big to intimidate another animal.

"River, it's simply ridiculous to think that you would be able to make something like that. And it's not nice to lie." He attempted to look angry, pretty certain he was failing, but it was worth a try.

"You still don't trust me do you? You assume that your bad-girl-River..." He loved that name "Couldn't actually make something beautiful? That I would actually steal something and pretend it's mine? Charming." She moved around him, he remained resolute, not moving, processing her words, but felt a shudder within his core as he felt her brush against him. "You know it is possible that you are wrong about me. You call me Mrs Robinson," she continued; he stole a quick grin while she couldn't see him, another nickname he loved, "Like I'm the one always doing the chasing , but you love it, you enjoy the challenge. And yes, I might be an archaeologist but I didn't steal that." He heard her turn away. He knew she was stinging from his accusation, which simply proved to him that it was true, she had made the orb for him. _Just one more little push_ - he wanted to see how far he could push her.

He turned to face her. "Prove it. Go on River. You say I'm wrong about you, that I'm going about this the wrong way. Prove it, prove that you're trustworthy." He knew she was looking past him at the sphere, memories danced across her face as she stood against the railing in front of him. Strikingly beautiful, he couldn't help but be entranced by her.

"God you're annoying." She threw at him, feigning anger. This was not the first time she called him that.

Suddenly and with a sharp intake of breath, the lights went out. He panicked, trying to find something to hold on to. Remembering the sphere, attempted to search for it blindly, knowing that one leer to the side and the orb would roll off and smash. _For pity's sake, what is happening?_

"River, what's going on?" He didn't know this new area of the library, and in the darkness his legs seemed too long and his arms and hands unresponsive as he reached out for something solid. _The Old Girl has finally shut down, I knew it would only be a matter of time. She was no spring chicken when I borrowed her!_

"Doctor." Her seductive yet authoritarian voice came from his right. "Stop panicking! If you stand still for a few seconds, you'll understand why she turned the lights off."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Five

He wondered if he had blacked out. Nothing could be this beautiful. It wasn't possible. All of time and space and the most unbelievably striking, heart stopping, incredible sight was surrounding him. It was engulfing him, and he hadn't left his library. His hearts felt like they might soar out of his mouth, they certainly had taken on a beat and pattern all of their own. He felt lighter and yet somehow more anchored to the ground. Time passed, unaware of the length of time he stood basking, not that it mattered. The light moved and suffused into everything, changing constantly. He felt it warming his mind, his body, his soul. His heart. Words couldn't describe what he was seeing, and he was terrified of trying to describe what the feelings it was imparting in case it diminished in the slightest.

He wasn't sure when started repeating her name, like some kind of mantra.

"You've said that already." She purred. He simply stared at the beauty of it. "The stone is psychic, of sorts." he dared to look at her now, he felt her owed her that "it absorbs the emotions of the person who works the stone, and it re-expressed those feelings in... light." He couldn't speak. Didn't know what to say. He felt frightened and elated all at the same time. It was too much, even his expansive knowledge and understanding of the universe and everything couldn't have prepared him for how this could possibly feel. It blocked out every sense, every sensation. Like River, it dominated everything around it, in the most amazing way.

He came around a little, when he felt her presence close to him, but kept his eyes on the light, his gaze gentle. He needed her closer, it was inexplicable but he craved her contact. Braving himself, he gently wrapped his arm around her waist, pausing softly on the small of her back before pulling her into his side.

The contact brought him around a little, "I don't have the words River." He felt her head rest on his shoulder and he felt more content than he had done in many, many years.

Chapter Six

He was petrified. He understood finally why songs and poems were written. Why wars were started. He didn't believe his body could contain it. It could barely comprehend how one person could feel so much... stuff!

"I've been known by names..." he begins, he isn't sure if these are the words he is supposed to be saying, but it is how he feels. "And in many ways, I'm pretty sure I've lived up to every one of them. But..." How best to say it, he felt so fragile, so unsure of himself.

"What is it my love?" He can't, daren't look at her, he's scared it might undo him. "Doctor, I know what they call you. Each corner of the universe has a different name for you, and I've been to them all to seek you out." He shivered, not from cold, but from so many emotions all coursing through his veins; fear, vanity, lust, love. All amplified exponentially when he felt her soft hand fall softly on his chest. She was so close he could hear her breathing. "You'll always be _my_ Doctor to me. And that's all that matters." The dam broke. He needed to look at her, needed her recognition. He needed her.

"You scare me River. I have all these... feelings when I'm with you, all these reactions I can't control. Human... things. John Smith feels an appropriate name when you're around." Her other hand joined the first at his chest, he felt like it would swell to burst with pride that this beautiful creature was not only standing in front of him, but loved him. He knew that with every cell in his body, understood it suddenly more than anything else. She tickled his bowtie.

"Well, I've shown you mine," typical River, break the tension with flirting, and that eyebrow lift should be made illegal. It was so seductive he was pretty certain it was on several planets. She beckoned towards the orb. "So what do you feel now?" The growl in her voice made his jaw clench, trying to suppress the desire boiling within him. The sound of it replayed in his mind; He remembered all the times he'd held back from touching her, all the times she'd all but offered herself on a plate, then all those chaste little kisses, touches, glances she initiated and it was too much. He couldn't hide it anymore. He stepped her back a few steps, her back now against the railing once more. He found his hands on her hips, hands which usually moved as if under the control of some unknown madman or at the least were outside of his control, were suddenly calm -they had a purpose. He heard the breathe catch in her throat, and it both charged and spurred him on. He leant against her gently needing the feel of her beneath him, the friction of her softness. If his body wasn't betraying him, he knew his eyes were. He saw the shift in her expression when she saw the fire that burned within him. Pure want.

"I'd run to the ends of the universe and time for you River." He growled in a whisper. It wasn't enough, but it was all he could say.

"And we will my love."


End file.
